Twilight Random One shots
by Geekoness
Summary: Lets see, Random funny oneshots for 'Twilight' Writen for my 2 friends who love it. What more to say?
1. Edwards big break

**AN- This is a oneshot and my only twilight story I'm sorry it sucks I had no plot for it..Enjoy I OWN NOTHING**

Edwards Point Of View

This was my big chance, in a few short moments I would be up there in fort of them all. Then they all would know just how amazing Edward Cullen is. Then Emmett would stop with the jokes about me not taking any chances. I knew doing this had lots of risks, times like this I was glad I was such a fast runner.

"You don't have to do this…It was just a dare from Emmett." Bella said looking up at me with a meek smile.

"Shh it will be okay, don't worry", I said putting my finger to her lips "Just go out there and enjoy the show."

She looked at me with a nervous glance before taking my advice and leaving to go join everyone else outside. I had came all this way and I wasn't going to back down now.

"Mr. Cullen you're on in 5" A man whispered popping his head in my room.

"I'm ready…" I mumbled walking out of my room and into the space next to the stage, waiting for my cue.

Was I really doing this? I wondered how all my sureness quickly became doubt. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I had to get in my zone to be the best I could be.

"And now the moment you all have been waiting for! Here he is Edward Cullen!"

I opened my eyes and walked out on stage it was show time.

"This Edwards first time on American Idol so please give him a big hand!"

I waved to all the girls and boys yelling my name and cheering for me.

"Edward will be singing a old classic."

"This one's for the ladies", I said into the mic "But its dedicated to my home girl Bella!"

I couldn't see her but somehow I knew Bella was going to kill me next time she saw me.

"I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love. Loves going to leave me…" The girls screamed as I sang. Just for fun as the song went on a dance to it. I never told anyone but I loved to dance so I decided this was my time to dance my heart out.

_**Some place in the audience**_…

"HA HA HA HA!!! HE DID IT!" Emmett was now rolling on the floor laughing and his brother who was now singing and dancing in front of millions.

"I can't believe he called me his home girl! On live T.V!" Bella was having a fit about what Edward said.

"I saw that one coming!" Alice grinned

"Wow..." Jasper muttered in shame at his brother.

"What a dumb ass!" Rosalie Laughed at Edward.

"Oh Edward…" Esme said looking at her son.

"…" Carlisle was speechless.

The Cullens didn't know what was worse, the fact Edward had just did that in front of worldwide T.V or the fact he had won.


	2. One of Emmetts Dreams

**AN- Okay so my last story went over well so I was pressured to write another! GOSH THEM SICK BULLYS *cough*samandmaddie*cough*so here I go Again… **

**Emmett's POV**

I looked out the window, the sun had just rose and it was time for me to do this. I was going to make one of my many dreams come true! And no, it's not the one with the kitty and me running away to the farm and becoming folk dancers. That one was for another day.

To be ready for today I had to sneak out of the house, or should I say base I was captive in. No one could know about my secret! I looked around the corners being sure I was clear before I ran full speed out of the house.

"Emmy baby what are you doing?" I heard Rose say from behind me with made me jump.

"Nothing dear! Just looking at the walls! There so amazing and lovely and look a bee I have go chase it! Bye!" I ran out of there at full speed rushing out the door and into my secret base, which was once called the tool shed. I got all the things I needed before running off into the forest to start my evil plain.

**Rosalie's POV**

It was a wonderful morning; I was just doing my nails when I head Emmett humming the mission imposable song as he snuck out of his room. I decided to follow him then confront him. I just prayed it wasn't running away with a kitty in it again.

"Emmy Baby, what are you doing?" I asked as from behind him making him jump. I wondered what he was hiding.

"Nothing dear! Just looking at the walls! There so amazing and lovely and look a bee I have go chase it! Bye!" He said then ran out the door. What was he thinking? I knew I only had one choice, get Edward to stalk him and find out what he was doing. I would have done it myself but I didn't want to mess up my hair, and I had just did my nails. I knew I had to be nice if I wanted to get him to do it for me so I used my nice voice to call him.

"EDWARD! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR VAMPIRE BUT DOWN HERE IN 3 SECONDS ILL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED LAST SUMMER!" I Screamed knowing he would hear me even if I had spoke it.

"What Rosalie?" Edward said coming down the stars.

"Go stalk Emmett or ill tell everyone, just as I said. NOW!" I gave him the death glare for fun.

"Fine, but you better not tell anyone!" He said before running out the door.

What could I say, I had a way with making people do this for me, so I decided to paint my toe nails tell Edward came back.

**Edward's POV**

"EDWARD! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR VAMPIRE BUT DOWN HERE IN 3 SECONDS ILL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED LAST SUMMER!" Rose screamed even thought I was just upstairs from her.

"What Rosalie?" I said in an annoyed tone as I come down stairs.

"Go stalk Emmett or ill tell everyone, just as I said. NOW!" She said giving me the death glare.

"Fine, but you better not tell anyone!" I said as I ran out the door to get away from her. Wow rose was scary, it only made me wonder how bad she was when she was PMSing as a human.

I smelt Emmett's sent from far away, so I ran quicker to his location. I quietly hid behind a tree so he wouldn't see me only to look over and see he had a potato in one hand and shovel in the other.

"Umm Emmett what are you doing?"

"Edward! Um nothing I mean, oh man you can read my mind, darn! Don't tell anyone okay?" Emmett said in a worried tone.

I nodded then walked away, I guess I never thought Emmett wanted to grow a potato farm, I guess it was Emmett.

**AN/ The End. So you like it or hate it? Tell me please and cheack out my other one which it really funny my reviews say (where did I go wrong?) its called Edwards big break. Well that's it Bye guys! (I miss my Naruto TT_TT)**


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